When is the last time that you genuinely said something nice about yourself? The last time that you acknowledged, or dare I say, even showed appreciation for a certain quality that you have? If you’re anything like me, you’re probably having a really hard time coming up with an answer to either of those questions. Because the idea of complimenting yourself or even acknowledging that there are good things about you feels weird somehow. But there are…good things about you. There are good things about me too. And even if we don’t quite believe it just yet, doing what’s called an “I am” project can help us start to see these good qualities. It can give us a reminder to refer back to whenever that mean voice in our heads inevitably rears its ugly head.
You know the one. The one that says things like, “you don’t matter, you’ll never be good enough, you don’t deserve better, you can’t.”
This voice was a big reason that I wanted to do the I am project to begin with. Because for far too long I believed this voice. I allowed this voice to convince me that I didn’t deserve any better, that I wasn’t capable so why bother, that I was hard to get along with and hard to love. But the reality was, that mean voice was made up of my own fears mixed in with what other people had told me about myself to try to keep me boxed in. Once I started to see the cracks of light coming through, I knew these things that I’d been telling myself weren’t true.
Working through the project helped me to widen those cracks and find what I now know is actually true about myself. And that doesn’t mean that I have it all figured out, or that the mean voice in my head doesn’t still creep in from time to time. It means that I now have another tool with which to challenge that voice when it does pop up. Something that I can refer back to anytime I need a reminder of the good things about myself. I’d love to help you create that reminder for yourself as well.
(This is part one. If you’re looking for part two, it’s here.)
First things first though, if you have no idea what I’m talking about…what is an “I am” project?
An “I am” project is a collection of statements that you make about yourself that you then use to create art, as journal prompts, or however your imagination sees a way to “display them” so that you can look at them anytime.
The statements that you make are positive statements that are meant to encourage you and remind you of who you are at your core. They are statements that celebrate the things that you like and appreciate about yourself – or would like to like and appreciate. =) Things like: I am capable, I am unique, I am brave, I am kind.
All too often, we have negative things to say to/about ourselves. We put ourselves down, are hypercritical of everything we say and do, and we think that we have no redeeming qualities whatsoever. By doing this project, we can show ourselves that the last statement isn’t true, and begin to work towards challenging the first two in a meaningful way.
In short…It’s a way to put some love and kindness back into your self-talk.
By doing this project, we can begin to see where we might be getting stuck.
Before even doing my first page, I made a list of 30 “I am” statements to help me get started. In writing these statements out, I found myself feeling resistance to certain statements, but also to the project as a whole. I wrote this in my journal: “Even though I believe them to be true deep down, I feel a bit conceited saying them out loud, and even more so putting them out there for others to see. It feels like I’m somehow bragging or not being as humble as I should. It’s funny, I can say mean things about myself. I can doubt myself and my abilities with the greatest of ease. But to say something nice or flattering about myself is a feat.”
As you’re going through your own statements, see where you get tripped up. For example, if your statement one day is: “I am smart”, but then that negative voice in your head pipes up and says, “but are you? Are you really?!?!”. Don’t let that voice win. Challenge those thoughts by considering why you think that about yourself.
(I’ll say here, it can be extremely helpful to have a therapist or other professional to walk through some of this with. Sometimes we can’t see the obstacles that we’re trying to work around because we’ve gotten so used to them being there.)
And don’t beat yourself up if you repeatedly find yourself getting stuck, because we all have that voice in our heads that isn’t always so kind. We all have times when that voice is the only thing we can hear. The important thing is that you’re trying.
It also gives us something tangible to look at when we’re having a hard time remembering our worth.
On those days when the voice in our heads gets especially loud and mean, having a book to flip through, a painting to look at, or even post-its stuck everywhere, may seem like a small thing, but it can be extremely helpful. We can look at it, take a few deep breaths, and remind ourselves that we ARE enough, we ARE worthy, and we ARE trying our best. Doing this won’t magically fix all of our problems. It will, however, go a long way towards reminding us that we are more than capable of handling those problems.
Your I am project doesn’t have to look anything like mine.
It doesn’t have to even be a project perse. I enjoy doing collage and mixed media type art, but I also love to write. So it made perfect sense for me to create an image that represented my “I am” statement each day and then to write a little about it. But you don’t have to do it in the same way.
Use your imagination and do what works for you. Maybe you love to paint, so you add a different “I am” statement to a painting each day. If you enjoy journaling, you could choose a statement to focus on each time you write in your journal. Or you could take one specific time, write all of your statements out at once, and then repeat them to yourself each day for 30 days. Or place them on index cards/post-its around your house, car, etc. The possibilities are endless.
There’s not really a right or wrong way to do it.
The most important thing is this: that your statements are made from a positive perspective. It’s all about lifting yourself up. It’s about reminding yourself how amazing you are.
And be sure to give yourself grace along the way.
Don’t beat yourself up, or give up, if you find yourself constantly getting stuck or coming up against resistance to certain statements. This is completely normal. Try your best to pay attention to things that come up, to ask yourself why a particular statement is making you uncomfortable, and give yourself time to process those answers.
If you choose to do your project everyday for a certain number of days in a row, remember that life happens. Sometimes there are things that need to be done or things that are out of our control that come up suddenly. It’s not the end of the world if you miss a day or two or thirty.
I wrote this after completing only five days:
“I should have known better than to start a 30-day project with everything going on…but alas, here we are. In fairness, and in the spirit of giving myself grace, I did say that it probably wouldn’t be every day for 30 days from the beginning. I guess now I can safely say that I called it a 30-day project because I want to do at least 30 of these over an indeterminate amount of time. =)”
It ended up taking me six and a half months to complete my 30-day project. But…I did it. And I learned a lot about myself in the process.
This is part one of my project – Days 1-11.
(I broke it into two different posts because of the number of pictures. To see part two, Days 12-30, click here.)
Take from it what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you choose to do your own project, I’d love to see it. You can find me on Instagram – @thenovelturtle – and send me pictures, or tag me so I’ll see them.
Day 1
I am eternally curious. I love to ask questions, to learn about things and how they work, to hear people’s stories. Not everyone thinks this is a good quality, but it’s who I am, and I know that it’s a strength.
Day 2
I am an explorer, an adventurer, and a traveler. One of my favorite things to do is travel. To explore new places and familiar places. But also, to explore my inner world and learn more about myself, as well.
Day 3
I am capable. I know that I am capable of doing the things that I want to do, and if I don’t have the skills, then I can acquire them. Sometimes, I forget this about myself, and I flounder around for a bit, but I always figure it out.
Day 4
I am a night owl. I’ve always joked that my brain is on West Coast time, even though I live on the East Coast. This little owl is a copy of a painting that I did in 2016.
Day 5
I am (trying to be) more confident. It’s a work in progress, but I know I’m getting better every day. I’m also learning that true confidence comes from within. Outside experiences or validation can certainly bolster our confidence, but for it to be sustainable, it has to be fueled from the inside.
Day 6
I am proud of myself. I’m proud of myself for continuing to try, even when things go sideways, but also for knowing when it’s time to change course and move on. I’m proud of myself for taking time for myself, for setting boundaries, and for doing the things that I love and enjoy. I’m proud of myself for going to therapy, for learning about myself, and for learning how to be a better human so that I can show up in the world in a more authentic way and encourage others to do the same.
Day 7
I am growing daily. Healing, learning more about myself, and yes, giving myself grace when I don’t live up to my own impossible standards (and working to make those standards more realistic to begin with).
Day 8
I am nice. For the most part, I am nice to everyone I meet. I can’t honestly say that I’ve never been rude to someone, when I’m exhausted or stressed, etc. But on the whole, I’m a nice person.
To be clear, being nice doesn’t mean that I don’t set boundaries with people. It doesn’t mean that I let people mistreat me, or use me as a doormat. We can be nice and still be firm. We can be nice and still take care of ourselves. It’s not one or the other.
Day 9
I am smart. This one was hard for me. Because I’ve been called a lot of names over the years that don’t equate with smart. Because social anxiety sometimes overrides any intelligent thoughts that I might have on a subject and I babble or remain quiet. Usually, when I get stuck, looking up the definition of the word helps. But it only confused me more. I’m not an expert on any one subject. I don’t even necessarily know a lot about many subjects. So instead, I looked at how I personally define the word “smart”. I thought about people that I view as smart people.
I believe that I’m smart BECAUSE I recognize that I don’t know everything. Because I continue to seek out and learn new things. Because I know that I possess the ability to expand my knowledge on whatever subject I choose. And because I realize now that those people were just being mean – which says way more about them than it does me.
Day 10 and 11
I am brave. I am strong. I feel you can be strong but not be brave. But not brave without being strong. Because being brave takes a large amount of strength.
